Sadness&AN CAFE

Today might be one of the most sad entries of my blog.
i dont know where is should start... i mean, i don't even know how explain how i feel.

Starting on this
AN CAFE Venezuela ST has been working hard to get the chance to see An Cafe here for the 1st time in this world tour. The company that produce concerts here gave us hope and we had hope untill the last time but we've lose it. since today someone from another ST told me that the AC staff told them that they can't add more dates because they're full. Sincerely i broke my heart because it's obvious that if there's not chance for them there's either for us. even tho by venezuela side the ones who are working is that is the own company and not us i don't know if they can do anything or something. i doubt it, the tour is gonna start very soon and they havent say anything. I feel very nyappy for every cafekko from europe and south america who will go to the lives, but understand me for a moment, i've been a cafekko from 7 years now i've wait for it for years to get this, fake hopes and the hard work to stand the fact that they will be near me and i cant see them.
An Cafe is THE ONLY band i love with all my heart this way. they gave me hope, happiness, smiles, 6 wonderfull men that no matter what will always be there for me. 6 awesome men i wil love untill my last day in the world. Thanks to them i met such wonderful people, thanks to them i can see there's sunshine light even tho the darkness takes me. they have saved me, if i was born again and i had to choose i'd be An Cafe's music. they inspire me. i cant explain in words how much they mean to me.
and now that once again i cant see them i feel like there's nothing left for me. i know people might say something like "wait for the next tour" but put yourself in my shoes, how you'd feel about it? i've cried tons of times (including today). I want all cafekkos who will go to feel very happy and for the ones that it's their 1st An Cafe live, i hope them to really valorate it because it's just so wonderfull and awesome.
I dont wanna to feel that knife of my heart when the tour starts because i know i will hurt me too much, so maybe i'll disappear from when the tour starts untill it ends or maybe more time.
anyway i know anyone will miss me.
my heart can't stand it. no one knows how many times i've wish to be in one of their lives, i've wish to buy their merch to treasure it forever because it'll remember me that one of my dreams came true.
When i got my 1st An Cafe original CD i cried and i was saying "Thank God" a lot. it was a true gift that means the world to me.
If you're a Cafekko, and you will go to one or two of their lives... Please treasure it, valorate it, it's just a wonderful chance that God gave to you, it's a dream coming true and please, have the best time there.


Another of the reasons of why i'm depressed is because personal problems. something that got me very bad and that i'm cant say here. something that breaks my heart so bad. Nathalie knows what i'm talking about.
anyway i'm going off.